Faith, Spirituality

True love is selfless love: Reanalysing our relationship with Allah

Being born and brought up in a Muslim family, most of us have the tendency to take our religion for granted. We think that we’ve been living in an “Islamic” environment as well as studying Islam all our lives, so we have quite a good idea about our religion and what it tells us to do. Because of these reasons, we live our entire lives without ever feeling the need to really know our Creator.

We often find ourselves complaining about how lonely we are, how people always disappoint us, how our problems never seem to get solved or how we are stuck in the same cycle of hopelessness and desperation for things we want but don’t seem to be getting. The solution to all these problems; the ones we can comprehend and the ones we never seem to get rid of, is our Creator, our Allah (the Glorious and Exalted).

We all have heard this so many times in our lives. Some of us have a deeper sense of religion than others, and we might even be one of those people who regularly offer their prayers five times a day and still wonder why we have problems in our lives. There is a lot more that we have to ponder over in order to understand why developing a healthy relationship with Allah (Azza Wajjal) is very important.

Looking at this, there are two things that make any relation a successful one: love and communication.

Let’s just answer a simple question first: what do you think love is?

Many people might have different answers to this question depending upon their perspective, but most of the answers will agree to this one statement – love means being selfless. Selfless love can easily be accepted as one of the purest forms of love, for it means thinking about the other person, their needs, their wants and putting them first before ourselves. It means loving them and fulfilling our responsibilities even when we’re angry at them, it means trusting the other person in difficult times rather than getting angry and frustrated, it means never disrespecting the other person, and, most importantly, it means being patient. An example of this form of love can be taken from a mother, for a mother loves her child more than anything and her love is always selfless. She loves her children even when they are being selfish, angry or unfair.

Our Lord (the Glorious and Exalted), loves us more than anybody else ever can. We’ve all heard this a lot of times, but how many times have we stopped and ponder over what this actually means?

It means that Allah (the most-High) provides for us even when we are committing sins. He (the Glorious and Exalted) makes sure we are fed properly every single day! He (The Self-Sufficient) gave us healthy bodies, the ability to see, hear, smell, talk; He (The Most Holy) gave us Parents who take care of us, nurture us, selflessly; He (The Powerful, the Irresistible) returns our souls to our bodies every single day when we wake up, He (The Bestower) provided us with the ability to study and understand things. Although we take these things for granted because we’ve always had them, we forget that being born in a normal and healthy family rather than being born in a famine-stricken family wasn’t in our control. It’s Allah who makes sure of our well being, in every single second of our lives. He is Al-Wadood, among of His many names, which also include The Most Loving and The Most Loved. His love is as selfless as it can get, it only requires a little attention from us, so that we can be able to start appreciating His countless blessings.

Earlier, I mentioned that we need to develop a healthy relationship with Allah (the One who is All-Hearing and All-Seeing). When we think we are in love, we seem to do everything that the other person demands of us: we try our best to become their friends; we stay in contact 24/7; we text all the time or we stay in contact for a major part of the day; we share our issues with them and we listen to their problems, and they do the same for us. A healthy relationship is a two-sided contract, for which both parties are responsible. The key to a healthy relationship is communication; sharing and sorting out issues, compromising when the need to arises, and understanding the other person’s perspective. But when it comes to our relationship with Allah (Azza Wajjal), we forget that good communication is very important for this relationship to be healthy as well.

Good communication requires a conversation between two parties, that is you talk to Him and He talks to you. How can we do that with Allah (Azza Wajjal)?

Among many reasons, one of the reasons why Al-Hakim (the All-wise) taught us to pray was this. It not only means offering our five daily prayers, it also means TALKING to Allah (the All-Mighty) through dua. It means considering Him Al Wali (the protecting FRIEND) and telling Him about each and everything we feel and go through like we would tell our best friend. It means remembering Him in bad times as well as good times; it requires us to believe that He is As-Sami (the All-Hearing) and that He hears everything we tell Him and even that we do not tell Him. It means believing He (The Responsive) will answer us, as He is Al Mujib.

The second requirement of healthy communication is Allah Subhaana Wa Ta’aala talking to us, which is something He (The Maker) has done through Quran.

Reading the Quran with translation and reading its tafsir can help us understand Allah (The Subtly Kind) a lot better. The Quran is a guidance like no other for it talks to people through its wisdom, and can help each and every one of us through our problems.

It is required of us to love Allah (The Ever-giving) the most, more than we love any other human being in our lives. Therefore we should try our best to be selfless in our love, to trust that if Allah Azza Wajjal has commanded us to do a certain thing, it is because it’s beneficial for us. It’s having faith that He (The Most Loving) won’t let anything we can’t bear happen to us just as our own parents won’t let anything happen to us, that He (The Powerful) can solve our problems, because for He (The Creator) who created the oceans, the mountains, the stars, the entire universe, solving our little issues is nothing!

Staying in contact with Allah the All Mighty, through His Zikr, truly shows that we love Him, for expressing love is important in every relationship. The benefit of this healthy relationship will be that our hearts will become soft as Allah says:

“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured.” (13:28)

It will help us become more patient and calm. We will have the courage to go through the different phases of our lives. This is something so many people before us have gone through. Each and every situation and problem in our lives is a realization that only our Creator is the one who is always there for us, and He (The Sublimely Exalted) should be our first priority if we want to live a peaceful life and be successful in the hereafter as well.

Written by Zaineb Nawaz

This guest account has been created to allow people to share their opinions, thoughts and ideas on The Muslim Vibe. Get in touch with us if you would like to share an opinion, thought or idea on The Muslim Vibe.


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