Kindness is a mark of a good Muslim. Check out these 10 verses illustrating how to show kindness in different situations.
Kindness is a mark of a good Muslim. Check out these 10 verses illustrating how to show kindness in different situations.
A mark of a Muslim is in his or her kindness to other people, regardless of their faith. Ali ibn Abi Talib reports the following from the Holy Prophet (PBUH) on kindness:
Allah is Kind and loves kindness, and He rewards for kindness in a way that He does not reward for harshness.”
[Musnad Ahmad]
Allah (SWT) refers to Himself as ‘kind’ in four verses in the Qur’an (depending on the translation used). The few references to kindness does not mean Allah (SWT) is selectively or sparingly kind. Allah’s (SWT) mercy is mentioned countless times, and His mercy is a form of his Kindness.
The believer is encouraged to adopt as many character traits from Allah (SWT) as possible:
- Allah (SWT) is patient with us, so we should be patient with others.
- Allah (SWT) repeatedly forgives us, so we should try and forgive others as much as possible.
- Allah (SWT) is The Helper, so we should help others as much as possible.
- Allah (SWT) is kind, so we should be too.
By no stretch of the imagination is this an exhaustive list. In this article, we want to share some beautiful Quranic verses on kindness to illustrate the importance of being kind. Here are 10 verses to memorise on kindness.
Being Unkind is a Sign of Hypocrisy
In chapter 107 of the Holy Quran, Al-Maun, Allah (SWT) spends a few verses listing the qualities of the hypocrites. Among these are those who do not demonstrate kindness. Verse four starts, “woe be to the hypocrites,” and the verses that follow describe the signs of hypocrisy. Verse 7 states:
and forbid common kindnesses…”
[107:7]
“Common kindness” here refers to general acts of kindness the majority of the human race are accustomed to, such as helping an old lady cross the road to holding the door open for someone walking behind us. It’s that kind of everyday kindness. Here, God says a hypocrite is someone unable to do the basics of kindness – even those acts that don’t require significant sacrifice.
As believers, we should always look for opportunities to show kindness. Every act of kindness makes a positive impression on our souls until it becomes second nature.
Kindness to Parents
After God, our obedience should be directed towards our parents as long as they’re not telling us to do something haram or that would cause us harm and excessive difficulty.
All the Prophets were kind to their parents. Allah (SWT), when listing the qualities of Prophet Yahya (as), includes a verse about his kindness to parents as one of his good attributes:
kind to his parents, not domineering or rebellious.”
[9:14]
God could have said so much more about Yahya. Allah (SWT) could have described his prayers, fasting and level of charity, but He used this verse to single out his kindness to his parents. God deliberately reveals certain things about his prophets to show us the mark of a good human being. God wants us to imbibe the qualities of the best of creation so that we may achieve a goodly station in the hereafter. Kindness to parents isn’t only a good deed but a form of worship of God.
In another verse. God is more direct in His command to us to show kindness to our parents:
Your Lord has commanded that you should worship none but Him and that you be kind to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say no word that shows impatience with them, and do not be harsh with them, but speak to them respectfully. And lower your wing in humility towards them in kindness and say, ‘Lord, have mercy on them, just as they cared for me when I was little.”[17:23-24]
The most important thing in our life is to worship God, which covers all the compulsory duties of praying, fasting, and hajj. Simultaneously, we must be kind to our parents. As much as our parents love us, raising kids is difficult. As babies, we needed constant attention. As we grew older, our needs changed, yet our parents kept meeting them. When we entered adolescence, we became rebellious and disobeyed our parents. Throughout the first 18-21 years of our life, our parents have regularly needed to exercise patience with us. And they did this willingly. We could never tell our parents were being patient because they gave us so much love and affection. As a form of kindness, God asks we do the same for them when they reach old age. Any of you who have parents who met extreme old age (80-90+) will know it’s almost like raising a baby in terms of the attention they need. And God ends the verse by giving us a beautiful dua we can regularly recite for our parents.
Kindness to our Spouse
When we reach an age and maturity where marriage becomes the next step in our lives, our duty to the person we marry becomes just as important as our duty to our parents. Allah (SWT) says:
You who believe, it is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will, nor should you treat your wives harshly, hoping to take back some of the bride-gift you gave them, unless they are guilty of something clearly outrageous. Live with them in accordance with what is fair and kind: if you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something in which God has put much good.”
[4:19]
In pre-Islamic Arabia, women pretty much had no status in society. These verses expound on the basics of kindness a man should extend toward his wife. Namely, giving her the mahr and not taking it back once it has been given. Allah (SWT) encourages men to extend common fairness and kindness. Interestingly, God talks about disliking something in which He has put much good. What could this mean?
One interpretation could be where the husband sees something in his wife that he dislikes and, in that moment of impatience, decides to mistreat or divorce her. God is potentially saying that although you might find qualities in a wife that you dislike if you bear with patience and kindness, you will realise that her good qualities outweigh her bad qualities. And in fact, the good qualities make the bad qualities insignificant because they result in a successful and happy marriage.
This can apply the other way round too. Women should also exercise a similar attitude toward their husbands. The verse was probably directed to men, given the conditions and social circumstances of that time, i.e. men needed to hear this advice more than women. But it doesn’t mean women can’t take it on board too. In fact, in another verse, God says the following (talking equally to both spouses):
Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect.”[30:21]
The Prophet was Kind
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is undoubtedly the kindest person ever. Here is one instance of his kindness captured by Allah (SWT):
A Messenger has come to you from among yourselves. Your suffering distresses him: he is deeply concerned for you and full of kindness and mercy towards the believers.”[9:128]
The Prophet’s kindness was on another level. Here is an important lesson for us all. Sometimes, we are quick to show harshness towards fellow Muslims. The Prophet, more often than not, chose kindness over any retribution or punishment.
Saying Kind Words
People will often remember our words and how those words made them feel. Let’s be extra careful when addressing and conversing with people and make kindness our motto. Allah (SWT) says:
A kind word and forgiveness is better than a charitable deed followed by hurtful [words]: God is self-sufficient, forbearing.”
[2:263]
Quite clearly, God is saying He prefers us to use kind words over an apparent kind gesture that is followed by unkind words.
Showing Kindness to the Ignorant Folk
We’ve all had our fair share of internet trolls winding us up or people in the real world addressing us with words that cause anger, resentment and frustration. God prefers that, when possible, we don’t engage these people and add fuel to the fire they so desperately crave:
The servants of the Lord of Mercy are those who walk humbly on the earth, and who, when the foolish address them, reply, ‘Peace’.”[25:63]
The best thing to do towards such people is to ignore them or say ‘peace’, i.e. “to each their own.”
Kindness when Giving Dawah
Sometimes, we see people giving dawah quite aggressively. Their intentions are good, but perhaps their zeal and passion for Islam are reflected in a way that overwhelms people. God teaches us how to call people to Islam:
Invite [all] to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and kind advice, and only debate with them in the best manner. Surely your Lord [alone] knows best who has strayed from His Way and who is [rightly] guided.“
[16:125]
Amongst other things, God reminds people to be kind in how they call people to Islam. When inviting people to join the religion, we must be patient and understand that non-Muslims have their own backgrounds and life experiences. Each of these demands a different approach when giving dawah. Above all else, kindness and patience give us the best chance of success.
Be Kind to Everyone
We end with a verse which advises us to be kind to everyone:
Worship Allah [alone] and associate none with Him. And be kind to parents, relatives, orphans, the poor, near and distant neighbors, close friends, [needy] travelers, and those [bondspeople] in your possession. Surely Allah does not like whoever is arrogant, boastful.”
[4:36]
An important thing to note here is God does not include ‘Muslim’ in the list of people to be kind to. This shows our kindness must extend to non-Muslims and we should not discriminate based on religion. Above all else, this verse illustrates that everyone deserves to receive kindness, regardless of who they are and their (lack of) relations with us.
