Seeking Peace Amongst the Chaos

As a Muslimah, I find the saying ‘No regrets’ unrelatable. When I examine my life, I realise all my regrets come from a time I neglected the choice of an Islamic lifestyle. This lifestyle was only attained by an eventual yearning to be closer to Allah (S.W.T).

For a substantial period of my youth, I chased chaos, in many different forms. My prayers were existent but not at the forefront of my mind. My goals in life were not interlacing with my Deen. My problems overshadowed my blessings because I had overlooked my main purpose of worshipping Allah (S.W.T).

Just before I turned 30 years of age, I sank into a albeit brief but heavy depression. I was praying my five daily salaah – so why did I feel so low? Because my lifestyle, intentions, and actions had all been clouded by a life-seeking Dunya. I had allowed my Nafs to overtake many of my decisions – settling for the bare minimum and expecting mountains in return.

Ramadan approached and I felt an overwhelming surge of grief. How had I let so much of life pass by without putting my lord at the forefront of everything I do? After many tears and days spent in repentance and reflection, I slowly started to feel at ease and understand what actions I had to take.

In order to readjust my life, I had to truly make it revolve around my creator – around Al-Khaliq. 

I have listed below four ways that I gained a closeness to Allah by disconnecting from the Dunya:

1. Changing Job Roles

Being a single mother, I have no choice but to work in order to provide. My previous jobs had been very demanding leaving me exhausted and running on empty.

I patiently applied for jobs that would ensure my salaah was always performed on time and was blessed to be given a job that worked around salah times and gave me Fridays off. This gave me time to attend the masjid once a week to help form a deeper connection with my faith.

2. Practicing Modesty Actively

I committed to wearing the hijab full time which led to a peace I had never felt before. I felt like I was finally being viewed as a human again and not just valued for my physical appearance.

I thought of how the incomprehensible beauty of Jannat is veiled from us in this life. How wonderful is it that our beauty can be veiled and protected too?

3. Taking Time to Reflect

It is so easy to fall into a monotonous cycle in today’s fast paced society- our spirituality is often affected by the demand to work, consume, and frantically seek a moment of rest. 

In order to tackle this cycle, I had to truly look within and see where can I break free of this cycle? I started journalling – writing what I was grateful for, I would write an Islamic thought daily to keep my thoughts intertwined with faith. I made lists to tick off even small accomplishments like cleaning a room so I could celebrate the small things. I prioritised rest over menial tasks.

These were my stepping stones towards tranquillity. Just like that things started to fall into place. I took more steps to get closer to Allah (S.W.T) and Allah (S.W.T) ensured my well-being in return.

Even when I experience hardships now, I am swiftly greeted by ease. All of this was granted through the mercy of Allah (S.W.T)We are only human and at times I feel myself slipping into old habits – but due to this constant attempt to reconnect with the core root of our beliefs, the need to put Allah at the forefront of my decisions.

I have found that those old habits are rarely approached and do not glisten in the way they used to. I can easily discard them now that I have seen the true beauty of Islam and how it is designed to make you survive in a world that does not want you to find peace. 

I often hear people saying they have no regrets, but ultimately one common regret is not using our time to gain closeness to Allah. May Allah (S.W.T) make it easier for us to use our time wisely and prioritise our Deen over the Dunya so we may find peace amongst the Chaos. Aameen.