Besides feeling helpless and physically drained, it is natural for women to feel unhappy due to the fact that they are not always able to find time for ibadah as they want. It can also trigger anxiety and qualms about whether they are a bad Muslim.
Besides feeling helpless and physically drained, it is natural for women to feel unhappy due to the fact that they are not always able to find time for ibadah as they want. It can also trigger anxiety and qualms about whether they are a bad Muslim.
Ramadan is fast approaching.
Muslims all across the world have already started the countdown to the holy month by planning, prepping, scheduling, and above all, finetuning and calibrating themselves in order to prepare their mind, body, and soul for welcoming Ramadan. Not to forget the Niyyah, or the intention, which is important to channel one’s thoughts and actions into the path of Allah.
Take a look at every household and in so many cases, you will see it’s the women upon whom all the responsibilities and the burden fall on during Ramadan and at other times.
She has to do meal plans and preps along with the usual chores like cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children and the elderly alongside scheduling tasks and her routine to incorporate time for ibadah all this while fasting. Things get tougher if she’s a working woman.
It is all about managing time, planning, and perseverance. You may not be able to switch to Ramadan mode after going on a monotonous humdrum every day with the usual tasks and chores. For that, one must prepare mentally and physically with the right Niyyah to do something for the sake of Allah in order to utilise the holy month fully and reap its benefits.
“There is no blame upon you for that in which you have erred but only for what your hearts intended. And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful”. (Sura Al-Ahza 33:5)
There is a Niyaah behind every action, the purity or genuinity of which the Almighty gauges all the time. Hence for Muslims, the intention behind any action is of utmost importance.
Plan and schedule how you are going to complete the tasks and chores and also your work if you are a working woman, finding time to fulfil them without overexerting yourself. Stop trying to be the superwoman.
The contemporary narratives that are built around the multitasking wonder woman who is a mother as well as a working woman, juggling different tasks with ease and dexterity, doesn’t always help. While it’s motivating and inspires you to perform more, it also puts pressure on you to push yourself harder, overwhelming and draining you of your energy and spirits.
There is nothing wrong with complimenting yourself once in a while for doing a great job every day. However, remember that you are a human too. You can feel tired or forget things or feel like taking a break or want to postpone things. It is all okay. It’s better to be realistic and have a realistic plan which actually fits in with your abilities, skills, and responsibilities at home and work.
Women usually are burdened with loads of household work during Ramadan and they are left with little time for ibadah or acts of worship. Starting from the pre-dawn meal, they spend the whole day doing the chores, cleaning, preparing, and serving meals for ifthar along with other duties – in many times being exhausted, groggy, and covered in sweat by the time the azan (adhan) is called.
Men and children who have ample time to pray and engage in acts of ibadah wait at the table to be served. It gets all the more stressed for women who work. There is this ever-present disparity between men and women when it comes to doing household chores.
Ramadan is not only a time for cooking grand meals for your family every day but also a time to be spent in remembrance of Allah, offering salah and doing dhikr whenever you can. It is also a time to reflect upon yourself, to ask for forgiveness, and seek the blessings of the Almighty for the times to come. The holy month is also a time to bond with family and friends.
For most women in conservative households, this is easier said than done. Planning the meals and prepping in advance, and stocking up the refrigerator with the essential items can help to make your chores easier, help make adjustments when needed and allow you the option of shuffling the meal plans if required. You can try it all.
Through this, you can find the time for ibadah and make the fullest of the holy month. Alongside getting a sufficient amount of sleep or rest will benefit your health. Letting the other members of the family know that you too need to spend time for ibadah can make them more aware as well as understand its importance.
Why not think about dividing the responsibility if possible? Men can share the workload so that the burden of chores will be less on women. Given the omnipresent sexist customs and traditions that exist in so many households, cutting across all social and cultural boundaries, one may think that bringing about a change is difficult. Times are changing for sure, but slowly.
A change in mindset is what is required. Only then can we do away with the sexist norms, customs, and traditions imposed by the patriarchal society. And change begins at home. Ramadan is for everyone. Women should also get an equal amount of time for ibadah. Only then can they feel the essence and spirit of Ramadan.
Young children need to be reminded about the prayer timings and coaxed into performing their salah and recital of the Quran. It is especially rewarding when you spend time with them, making them understand the significance and benefits of Ramadan, fasting, and regular offering the salah.
You can make them join in the prayers when you offer yours. It is also beneficial to narrate to them the stories from the Quran and the Hadith that will stimulate their curiosity and widen their knowledge and inspire them at the same time.
For the working women, planning and working out a schedule with your boss and your colleagues, something that would fit in with your Ramadan routine, will be of great help.
Besides feeling helpless and physically drained, it is natural for women to feel unhappy due to the fact that they are not always able to find time for ibadah as they want. It can also trigger anxiety and qualms about whether they are a bad Muslim, whether they would be rewarded enough like their partners for missing out on their ibadah. Don’t be. Allah SWT sees and hears everything including your intentions.
“Surely Allah knows the unseen of the heavens and earth. And Allah is All-Seeing of what you do.” (Sura Al-Hujurat 49:18)
So, why worry? Make use of the holy month as much as you can and leave the rest to Him. May Allah SWT make it easier for all of us.
