It is a way better feeling to be dignified in your responses to such people and situations than to retaliate with the same. If you do the latter, trust me you’ll regret it later and you will have achieved nothing, except probably riling the other person up further.
It is a way better feeling to be dignified in your responses to such people and situations than to retaliate with the same. If you do the latter, trust me you’ll regret it later and you will have achieved nothing, except probably riling the other person up further.
Chances are we have all dealt with rude people at some point in our lives. People who make us wonder why they are behaving that way towards us.
Initially, your meeting is going ok: not overly friendly, but not overtly horrible either. But all of a sudden the person/people become very dismissive and treat you as if you’re not worth their time. Or perhaps they are rude. Shout at you perhaps. You’re on your best behaviour, but somehow it’s not good enough for them.
More often than not your initial reaction is likely to be taken aback and hurt and offended. You wonder why they are treating you that way. But then clarity kicks in.
When people lash out or are horrible or do something wrong towards you, generally it is nothing personal against you, rather it is a reflection of their personal state at that moment. If they can’t keep their cool or control their emotions at that moment, you cannot control that, but you can control your own response.
One of the greatest blessings and biggest responsibilities of being chosen by Allah to be Muslim is to represent the true Islam to others. For example as Muslimahs, if we are observing hijab then we can immediately be spotted as Muslim, and therefore before we even open our mouths, people have preconceived notions about us, and more to the point, about our beautiful religion. Our job isn’t to dispel their issues, rather our duty and ultimate mission is to simply show them the true Deen. Once they see you behaving according to the true teachings of Islam, they will automatically realise how beautiful Islam is.
So whenever a situation like the above arises, the first thing to do is take a step back to remember the other person may not be aware of how they are coming across. Also, take into consideration any personal issues they may be going through. This does not justify their behaviour towards you, but immediately your reaction becomes affected in a positive way when keeping this in mind: you start seeing the person as more than their actions in that single moment. Rather you see them as a whole: with issues and problems and a to-do list taking up their brain just like the rest of us.
The greatest man to have ever walked this earth the Prophet Muhammad (rasool Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam) used to respond to people in the most dignified of manners no matter what befell him. In the Seerah (life of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him) we learn that his opponents put animal carcasses on top of him (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) during his salah. He didn’t stop praying. His response instead was to prolong his sujood (his (peace be upon him) daughter Fatima (Allah be pleased with her) removed it).
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) asked from Allah, The Only One that can give; the Only One able to save us from calamities. Such were his beautiful manners (alayhis salaatu wasalaam). So the moral of the story: when faced with bad behaviour from others, he (alayhis salaatu wasalaam) responded with kindness and the best of manners. Likewise, we should do the same. He (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) was sent as a mercy to mankind. so we have much to learn from him dear sisters and brothers.
So what does this all actually mean in practical terms? It means forgiving people quickly, sometimes even on the spot. You do well to remember some of these things in those moments:
1. You yourself are not perfect.
2. Sometimes you have to be the better person.
3. Allah is your Witness.
4. Allah does injustice to nobody.
5. Your self-esteem should not come into question simply because somebody decided to treat you badly.
It is a way better feeling to be dignified in your responses to such people and situations than to retaliate with the same. If you do the latter, trust me you’ll regret it later and you will have achieved nothing, except probably riling the other person up further.
Most importantly, you would have given Islam a bad name. People will associate your behaviour with Islam, so behave wisely.
Remember, Allah forgives us repeatedly, sometimes for the same mistakes, over and over. So, a point to reflect on is: how can we expect to be forgiven by Him, if we cannot even bring ourselves to forgive others?
This article was republished with permission from the author, with the original article found on Blog of a Believer.
