I can recall my first steps into the world of parenthood; I was lost, scared and confused all at the same time. I had created a life and I had no idea where to start. ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ I thought. Suddenly, all that fun and freedom had disappeared. I needed to adjust to a new life of feeding, napping, changing diapers and constant crying; how petrifying was that? As a young, 18 year old wife and now a mother, I was far from ready; after all I was still a baby myself. My life had officially ended. My sleep dilapidated. All these mixed emotions invaded my mind. At times I would be happy and at times I would cry my eyes out for no apparent reason. Maybe it was the fear of competing with all the wonderful, hardworking women out there, who were incredible mothers. What if I wasn’t going to be good enough? Psychologically, I was haunted by the idea of being mother. It felt so surreal. Being the eldest of six siblings, I had a single bout of hope that it may be easier than I thought. After all, I helped raise and nurture five children; surely I can do it again? Or was I just lying to myself and living on false hopes? I knew this time it would be different. This was my baby. Not my brother, not my sister.
1 year later and I look back and think: SubhanAllah, my fears couldn’t have been more wrong. My little bundle of joy has brought along so many blessings and so much happiness. Looking back to day one, I had so much to look forward to; his first Eid, his first Ramadan, our outings and our time together, everything. In fact, that’s when it hit me. My life had only just started. But (and there’s always a but) it requires patience and time. It takes practice and practice makes perfect, right?
I know I’m still a new mother, but I feel like I’ve overcome a certain stage of fear and endurance. So, here’s a little advice to all my young mothers out there:
Start with slow baby steps (excuse the pun). Do this by surrounding yourself with positivity – this could be supportive friends or family who are willing to contribute towards the nurturing of your newborn baby, maybe through nappy changing or feeding or even just with constant encouragement and support. Reciting versus from the Quran, I can assure you, will spark in you a sensational soothing feeling of reassurance from Allah and will make you forget all your worries.
Allah even tells us this:
“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, with the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured.” [13:28]
Remember my beautiful mothers, the Jannah is under your feet so continue your wonderful quest and you shall be rewarded. Your hard work will prevail.