To all the men out there: what do you think of this list?
10 Ways Muslim Men Can Build Confidence
To all the men out there: what do you think of this list?
Confidence holds paramount importance for a Muslim man in both his spiritual and worldly pursuits.
On a spiritual level, confidence in one’s faith (iman) is the foundation upon which a strong relationship with Allah is built. It enables a Muslim man to face life’s trials and tribulations with unwavering trust in Allah’s wisdom and guidance, nurturing patience and perseverance.
In daily life, confidence empowers a Muslim man to be a positive role model for his family and community, to stand up for justice, and to pursue excellence in his endeavours.
It allows him to engage with others respectfully, share his faith, and contribute to society’s betterment.
Confidence, when rooted in humility and aligned with Islamic values, becomes a powerful tool for personal growth, leadership, and making a positive impact in the world.
But unfortunately, some are making the mistake of equating arrogance to confidence–something that has become rife in the rise of red-pill Muslim masculinity. I’m sure you know who I’m referring to.
*Cough* Andrew Tate *cough*.
In this article, I will suggest 10 methods a Muslim man can employ to build his confidence in the right way.
1. Tawakkul (Trust in Allah)
Central to Islamic confidence is tawakkul, which means placing your trust in Allah.
It involves recognising that while you make efforts and take action, the ultimate outcome is in the hands of Allah. This trust in divine wisdom and providence can provide a deep sense of confidence, reassurance, and composure when facing life’s inevitable challenges.
“And whoever puts his trust in God, then God suffices him.” [65:3]
Without tawakkul, the smallest inconveniences can damage a Muslim man’s confidence.
Say he is a single man looking for marriage, and a girl rejects him. A man without tawakkul will think something is wrong with him or that he’s not good enough. He will despair and lose his confidence and self-esteem. Now, when Allah does present him with his ideal woman, he might not be able to take the opportunity because he has self-deprecated excessively and damaged his sense of self-worth.
On the other hand, a man with tawakkul will realise there is nothing wrong with him, it’s just that Allah hasn’t chosen this girl for him. And he moves on.
A man with tawakkul walks away with confidence knowing that Allah has a better plan for him. He remains unaffected.
2. Assess Strengths and Weaknesses
Self-awareness is a fundamental component in the development of confidence for a Muslim man.
By gaining a deep understanding of oneself, including strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs, a Muslim man can align his life more closely with Islamic principles and values. This self-reflection allows him to identify areas for personal growth and improvement, both in his spiritual journey and everyday life.
Self-awareness helps him recognise his talents and abilities, enabling him to set realistic goals and work towards them with dedication. Furthermore, it empowers him to face challenges and setbacks with resilience, knowing that Allah is the ultimate source of strength and guidance.
In interactions with others, self-awareness promotes empathy and understanding, essential qualities for building harmonious relationships within the Muslim community and beyond.
How can a Muslim man become self-aware? Through reflection:
“Do they not contemplate concerning themselves?” [30:8]
Let’s put this into a few examples to get the message across.
Say a man wants to get married. He can’t just go ahead and get married. He has to prepare himself. Self-reflection allows him to identify the aspects he needs to improve on before he can bring a woman into his life.
His self-reflection may lead him to realise that he needs to learn how to do the house chores or some basic cooking skills. It might occur to him that he needs to learn how to drive or have a career plan in mind. It could be something big or small. But now that he knows, he can make the relevant changes before presenting himself as an eligible bachelor.
Learning new things is incredibly empowering and will supercharge a man’s confidence. What’s even better is that he’ll be able to keep his wife and future kids happy and lead the family. There aren’t many better feelings.
Now–this self-reflection/self-improvement methodology can be applied in any situation – not just marriage.
A man wants a better-paying job–he needs to know what skills gaps he has and fill them. A man wants to improve his physical fitness–he needs to understand and change the aspects of his lifestyle that are detrimental to achieving a healthy body. And so on.
Identifying weaknesses and areas of improvement and working towards them is a huge confidence booster–which can only be done if one reflects.
3. Being in Peak Physical and Mental Condition
We already spoke about the benefits of being in peak physical condition. Understandably, every man has his own ceiling. Pre-existing health conditions and general life circumstances mean certain men’s ability to get fit differs from others.
There’s no standard ideal physical specimen. What matters is a man does what he can to his capacity.
Good physical fitness has so many benefits. We are already aware of them. A fit man can chase after and play with his children, attract a spouse (looks aren’t everything, but they play a part), provide for his family, live for longer, live happier, be there for his parents, and so on.
Nothing bad comes from being fit. The Prophet (PBUH) said:
“A strong believer is better and dearer to Allah than a weak one, and both are good.” m[Sahih Muslim]
This hadith can be interpreted as being physically and mentally strong. Which leads to the next point.
A physically healthy man will suffer from confidence issues if mentally unwell. Muslim male adults do have trauma. It could be a parental relationship, past marriage or something that happened at school. These traumas–when not dealt with–can cause issues later on in life.
It might make the man angry, verbally or physically abusive, or possess irrational fears. A man with these traits might struggle to understand why he has them. This leads to further despair. These traits are not part of the fitrah, i.e. the God-given qualities at the time of birth. Something has happened to a man to make him like this.
As mentioned above, self-reflection and self-awareness help identify and resolve the issues. Sometimes, the man may need professional help. There’s nothing wrong with that, by the way.
An intelligent man knows he has a problem and does something about it. Rather than pretending it doesn’t exist or accepting the reality of who he is. Not only is that an injustice to himself, but to those in his life and a massive injustice to Allah, Who has created the man with so much potential–yet the man refuses to do something about it.
A man who corrects his physical and mental weaknesses (where possible) will soar in confidence. He will believe he can achieve anything. Removing the barriers he puts himself in allows him to go and achieve practically anything he desires.
4. Seeking Islamic Knowledge
Islamic knowledge will help build the third aspect of men, in addition to their physical and mental self, their spiritual self.
The Holy Prophet said:
“Seeking knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim. Let it be known that Allah loves those who seek knowledge.” [al-Kafi]
Seeking Islamic knowledge plays a pivotal role in nurturing the confidence of a Muslim man. This pursuit fosters a deep connection with one’s faith, enabling him to understand the Quran, Hadith, and Islamic teachings more comprehensively.
As he delves into the rich intellectual tradition of Islam, he gains a profound sense of purpose and direction in life, aligning his actions with the Divine Will. The knowledge acquired empowers him to make informed decisions, resolve moral dilemmas, and navigate life’s challenges based on Islamic principles.
This, in turn, cultivates a sense of self-assuredness as he becomes more aware of his religious responsibilities and commitments.
Seeking Islamic knowledge is a transformative journey that equips a Muslim man with the wisdom and confidence to live a purposeful and righteous life in accordance with Islam.
5. Grooming, Dress, and Personal Hygiene
When a man gets a fresh trim, he feels amazing.
He is more confident. He is more likely to pose for photos or even take selfies himself. He talks more pleasantly to people and is more likely to be sociable. That natural confidence is unmatched.
A Muslim man should do his best to stay away from laziness. Laziness stops a man from regularly grooming himself, showering, brushing his teeth, etc. These are crucial. Take this hadith from the Prophet, for instance:
“Gabriel so continuously advises me about the importance of brushing one’s teeth that I really thought he would lay it down as an obligation.” [Bihar]
A Muslim man in tip-top shape will always feel confident–this extends to dressing well. A man doesn’t need to wear Gucci or Versace to dress well. As long as the clothes are clean, smell good, ironed, and modest.
6. Facing His Fears
Facing one’s fears is a crucial catalyst for building confidence in a man, particularly from an Islamic perspective.
Islam encourages believers to confront their fears and challenges with unwavering faith and trust in Allah. When a Muslim man acknowledges and confronts his fears, whether related to personal goals, moral dilemmas, or social responsibilities, he strengthens his reliance on the Creator.
This act of courage is seen as an expression of tawakkul (as mentioned above), reinforcing his belief that Allah is the ultimate protector and guide. Through these experiences, he not only overcomes obstacles but also gains a profound sense of self-belief and empowerment.
Each trial faced and conquered serves as a reminder of Allah’s support, deepening his confidence in his ability to navigate life’s trials while upholding his faith.
Until a man conquers his fears, his potential is limited.
7. Learning From Failures
Learning from failures is pivotal in developing confidence in a man’s life.
In Islam, failure is not viewed as a setback but as an opportunity for growth and spiritual development. A person whose mistake makes them turn to Allah is better than the one whose good deeds birth arrogance.
When a Muslim man encounters failure, he is encouraged to turn to Allah for strength, guidance, and patience. This act of seeking solace and wisdom from the Divine empowers him to view failures as temporary challenges rather than insurmountable obstacles.
By reflecting on his mistakes, identifying areas for improvement, and making sincere efforts to rectify them, he demonstrates resilience and determination.
Over time, as he witnesses personal growth and positive change resulting from these experiences, his confidence in his abilities and trust in Allah’s plan for him become unwavering.
Failure becomes a stepping stone towards success, reinforcing his belief that setbacks are temporary, but his faith and determination are enduring.
8. Celebrate Achievements
At the same time, a man should celebrate his achievements. A confident Muslim man cannot live a life where he only focuses on his failures and pretends his achievements don’t exist.
Celebrating achievements is not arrogance–if done with the right intention. When a Muslim man achieves something, it is a blessing from Allah. Blessings from God should be celebrated. Right?
9. Crucial Skills That Build Confidence
There are some skills that every man should know. It will help build his confidence. Here is a (non-exhaustive) list:
- Public speaking
- Personal finance management
- Conflict resolution
- Negotiation skills
- Emotional intelligence
- Time management
- Organisational skills
10. Crucial Aklaqi Traits to Build Confidence
Akhlaqi (ethical and moral) traits play a significant role in building confidence in Muslim men. These traits contribute not only to personal character development but also to how one interacts with others and the world.
Here are several akhlaqi traits that can boost confidence:
- Honesty (Sadaqah): Being truthful and sincere fosters trust in relationships, enhancing self-confidence.
- Integrity (Adalah): Upholding moral principles and doing what is right, even when difficult, builds self-respect and confidence.
- Resilience (Sabr): Patience and perseverance in the face of challenges develop mental fortitude and self-assurance.
- Gratitude (Shukr): Acknowledging and appreciating Allah’s blessings can lead to a positive outlook and increased self-esteem.
- Humility (Tawadu): Recognising one’s limitations and showing humility can make interactions with others more genuine, boosting self-confidence.
- Empathy (Tawazo): Understanding and sharing the feelings of others creates better interpersonal relationships and self-assuredness in social situations.
- Forgiveness (Afw): Forgiving others and letting go of grudges reduces emotional burdens and fosters inner peace and confidence.
- Generosity (Sakhawat): Helping those in need and being generous can create a sense of purpose and confidence in one’s ability to make a positive impact.
- Courage (Shaja’a): Facing fears and challenges with bravery and determination strengthens self-confidence.
- Seeking forgiveness (Istighfar): Seeking forgiveness and maintaining a positive outlook can lead to greater self-belief.
- Modesty (Hayaa): Practicing modesty in appearance and behaviour promotes self-respect and dignified confidence.
- Accountability (Muhasabah): Reflecting on one’s actions and being accountable for them fosters self-improvement and confidence in one’s moral character.
- Good Manners (Adab): Treating others with respect and kindness enhances self-esteem in social interactions.
- Determination (Azam): Setting clear goals and persevering to achieve them instills self-confidence.
- Sincerity (Ikhlas): Acting with sincerity and purity of intention builds trust in oneself and others.
- Contentment (Qana’ah): Being content with what one has promotes inner peace and self-confidence.
- Empowerment (Istikhdam): Taking initiative and actively working toward self-improvement empowers individuals and boosts confidence.
- Prayer and Worship (Ibadah): Strengthening one’s connection with Allah through regular prayer and worship can provide a strong foundation for confidence.
- Kindness (Rahmah): Showing compassion and kindness toward others enhances self-esteem and confidence in one’s character.
This article hasn’t presented an exhaustive list of ways a Muslim man can build confidence – yet it covers the most crucial elements.
Remember: confidence doesn’t appear overnight; it needs to be practised regularly.